As someone who has lost a child the word lucky seems a bit peculiar. However, after the events of the week I can honestly say that I feel lucky. I am grateful that my son will never experience pain ( physical or emotional), he will never be hungry, never be afraid. The list goes on and on. I am blessed enough to have a child in heaven who is spared form the torments of this world. If your are reading this you are probably wondering what on Earth I am talking about. Well, I have learned this week that children these days no about adult topics very early in life and it doesn't matter whether they attend public school or private. They are exposed to the same things. 5, 6 and 7 years old talking about sex, strippers and drugs. What has this world come to. Why are people who expose their children to such vile topics at such a tender age allowed to become parents at all. It is beyond me. Then others of us who are God fearing and loving are stripped of the precious children we would adore for a lifetime.
This has been a difficult week for me. At church Sunday there was a baby dedication that I was completely unprepared for. I fell to pieces. Not because I resented the parents who brought their beautiful children before God, but because it reminded of something I never got the opportunity to do. It made me miss my Ethan. I am constantly reminded that I should have a rambunctious 16 month old running around, but he isn't' here. I can have a pity party for a minute then I am reminded of the ungodly world we leave in and I think how very fortunate my sweet Ethan is. He is with God in heaven, safe and happy and loved in a way I could never compare to. It is so hard to live without him, but knowing he is in Glory makes it more bearable. I am blessed to have a child in heaven. It makes me long to be there. I want Jake and Madison to be with me as long as possible and me with them, but my hope as their mother is that one day we will all be together in heaven with our precious Ethan and all our family members who have gone before us.
My prayer tonight is for all the parents of the world. May we teach our children the ways of God and reflect his grace and love in all the things we do everyday. He is with us through good and bad. He is the way the truth and the light. May we open our hearts to him and live the way he lived, give the way he gave and love the way he loved. To my sweet Ethan, I love you, sweet dreams.
